The Food Texter

I’ve never been too into sports but decided it would be a good idea to have some knowledge and go to sports bars, where the ratio of men to women is a lot better than a night at the W.  I decided supporting la raza would be an easy entrée, so I became a fanatica of the World Cup.  My friend Federico thought it would be a good way to meet my girlfriends, so he volunteered to meet me at Bomberos, a wonderful South American wine bar, to watch the games live.  How fabulous to have a mimosa and watch Mexico and el chicharito score goooooool after gol, even if it was at 7 a.m…  And soccer players have amazing bodies!   

Before work one morning I went to a spot closer to work, an English pub called the George and Dragon.  I got there before Federico and recognized another friend at the bar.  It was early and I hadn’t had enough coffee, so I went to the bar and threw my purse down next to him and in a sassy tone asked,  "beer before 7 a.m.?”  When he turned to look over at me my heart stopped!  It wasn’t my friend, but a stranger….  Not one to judge a nice drink before breakfast, I was mortified.   I politely excused myself and assured this new, handsome, man that I was not judging him and I really did think he was a friend!  Thankfully, Federico arrived and I shared my embarrassment to him.  He told me I missed my golden opportunity to hit on this handsome man.  “Before coffee?,” I asked.    I had never flirted at that hour of the morning.    Federico assured me there was nothing sexier than a girl asking a guy out, but I just couldn’t do it.  Mexico won and I raced back to work to make my meeting.

The next week, Mexico played again on a Sunday.  After watching the game at Bomberos, we decided to go to the Vig for Sunday Funday.  I was at the bar when I saw him walk in!  The guy from the George and Dragon had to have walked back in for a reason.  It was fate.  Federico was with me and told me I had to take my opportunity because second chances don’t happen often.  I put my YSL lip gloss on and walked to the end of the bar.  I went up to the mysterious caramel colored man and said, “still drinking beer before 8 a.m.?”  His face lit up and we started chatting.  He told me he had shared that story with his buddies and was glad to see me again.  I told him it must be fate.  Roberto gave me his number.  Walking up to a guy was tough enough, but I wasn’t about to make the first call.  I told Roberto he would have to call me and gave him my number and we said goodbye. 

Moments later, while I was waiting for my car outside, Roberto texted me that he would like to have dinner that week.  We made plans and he was called away and had to re-schedule.  What could be so important that you have to reschedule a first date?  With me!  So we texted back and forth trying to set another date.  In the meantime, I had a girlfriend’s weekend in Las Vegas and told Roberto that the weekend would not work because I would be partying like a rock star in Sin City.  After lunch with a friend, I got a text from Roberto, so I opened it to show my friend.  It was a picture.  I was intrigued.  I opened it to see a picture of a barbecue with grilled meat.  Interesting…..  but  why? 

When I got back from Vegas, after a delay at the airport which meant I got to watch Spain vs. Germany at an airport bar, I got another text picture from Roberto…. I couldn’t quite make it out, but it looked like a cracked egg, on a sushi plate?  With no explanation, I could only wonder.  But then I wondered why the hell he was sending me these pictures.  Was I missing something? 

Ever mindful that I am “too picky,” I decided to respond to the food texter, but was too freaked out to meet him alone.  My girlfriends were intrigued, so I invited him to a happy hour.  We met at Modern Steak and had a few cocktails before food texter arrived.  He was handsome, but he kept checking his phone.  I tried to talk to him, but wasn’t sure what to say.  How was the egg/sushi?  Did your meat turn out ok?  My girlfriends had had enough of happy hour and wanted to switch venues.  I didn’t want to bring the texter with us, so we said we were tired and had to go.  We were practically sprinting out the door…  I never thought I would hear from him again, but by the time we went to the next bar he had texted me to say he had a wonderful evening….  I didn’t reply and never received another picture of a food.